This week Micah and Kevin bring you a veritable chinese buffet of musical genres, with classic favorites to fringe items that are questionable at best. Anyone with severe allergies to awful may want just settle for a fortune cookie and the indignant stare of the wait staff. So come, eat your fill, gorge yourself on hip-hop, metal, and even a little drum and bass, we've got it all-- but dine at your own risk.

If anyone interested in having a track reviewed; please leave a comment on this post with the name of the track, artist, your name or email.

All of our podcasts contain extremely insensitive, often rude remarks which are not appropriate for anyone. If you have been offended by any type of speech whatsoever, or think that you might someday, do not listen to the following.

61MB MP3: Moose & Squirrel

Track listing:

1. Jay Electronica - Exhibit C

   • Micah: 7 Bad Rapper Names

   • Kevin: 7 Incriminating Stains

   • Final Score: 7

2. Florence and the Machine - Dog Days

   • Micah: 7 Religious Gingers

   • Kevin: 8 Bottles of Xanex

   • Final Score: 7.5

3. Bullet for my Valentine - Begging for Mercy

   • Micah: 7 Completely Forgettable Riffs

   • Kevin: 3 Indiscernible Welsh Accents

   • Final Score: 5

4. Pendulum - Watercolour

   • Kevin: 9 Alien Spaceships Invading our Planet

   • Micah: 9 "Live at Brixton" DVDs

   • Final Score: 9

5. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

   • Micah: 2 Cuntry Music Cash-ins

   • Kevin: 0 Just 0

   • Final Score: 1

6. Black Eyed Peas - Imma Be.

   • Kevin: 3 Fergies From the Neck Down

   • Micah: 0 Degrees Kelvin Musically

   • Final Score: 1.5

This weeks winner: Pendulum - Watercolour

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This week Kevin and Micah take a look at the the fascinating world of private school hipster music and all of it's ever-engrossing facets that make it so respectable and artistically pure. We'll also delve in to the current state of hip-hop, a genre near and dear to our white middleclass hearts, wrapping up with the triumph that is Jordan Catellano as he finally breaks through to the big time as a musician, even though it costs him his relationship with Angela Chase.

If you are offended by anything, ever, anything at all, then we highly recommend that you NEVER listen to our show under any circumstances.

57MB MP3: Tres de Mayo Especial

Track listing:

1. Sage Francis - The Best of Times

   • Micah: 5 Paul Giamatti Lookalikes

   • Kevin: 2 Slow Motion Snaps

   • Final Score: 3.5

2. MGMT - Flash Delirium

   • Kevin: 4 Tired Hipster Cliches

   • Micah: 8 Horrifying Videos

   • Final Score: 6.0

3. Kelis - Acapella

   • Kevin: 3 Extra Long Milkshake Straws

   • Micah: 6 Boys to the Yard

   • Final Score: 4.5

4. Drake - Over

   • Micah: 6 Unnecessary Ass Shots in the Video

   • Kevin: 5 Empty Sprite Bottles

   • Final Score: 5.5

5. Deftones - Diamond Eyes

   • Kevin: 8 Wildly Fluctuating Chino Waistlines

   • Micah: 9 Skinny Chinos

   • Final Score: 8.5

6. 30 Seconds to Mars - This is War

   • Micah: 5 Jared Leto Movie Death Scenes

   • Kevin: 2 Episodes of "My so Called Life"

   • Final Score: 3.5

This weeks winner: Deftones - Diamond Eyes

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This week Kevin and I attempt to tackle a diverse group of New and Chart-topping tracks from multiple genres. From Math-rock to Hip-Hip to Dancy Pop, we try to break down each track to its basic (both good and very bad) elements. Below is a list in chronological order, listed as Artist - Track Name with spoilered scores for each.

If you are offended by harsh language DO NOT listen to this program. We do not Condone, Suggest, or Recommend anyone listen to this show. Ever.

58MB of MP3 goodness: Enjoy

Track listing:

1. Gaslight Anthem - American Slang

   • Kevin: 3 Trust Fund Art School Degrees

   • Micah: 4 Bruce Springstein Cover Band Camera Crotches

   • Final Score: 3.5

2. Foals - This Orient

   • Kevin: 8 Strawberry Blunts

   • Micah: 6 Shuffling Dance Hall Treat Albums

   • Final Score: 7.0

3. Flobots - White Flag Warriors

   • Kevin: 1 Self-Rightous Entitled Caucasian

   • Micah: 1 White Rapper

   • Final Score: 1.0

4. Lady Gaga - Telephone

   • Kevin: 6 Malformed Hermaphroditic Penises

   • Micah: 5 Smoking Cigarette Sunglasses

   • Final Score: 5.5

5. Jay-Z - On to the Next One

   • Kevin: 4 Overrated Producers

   • Micah: 4 Obama/Oprahs on the Text

   • Final Score: 4.0

6. Big Boi - Shutterbug

   • Kevin: 9 BUHBUHBUHBUHBUHBUHBUHs

   • Micah: 8 Motorboats

   • Final Score: 8.5

This weeks winner: Big Boi - Shutterbug

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Behold! Two mighty warriors have entered the arena to duel to the auditory death! Two of the industry’s most renowned and respected musical resources choose impeccable tracks in categories sent down by God himself. Abandon all hope, ye who enter, for the land that lies before you is a soundscape of glory beyond measure and this competition is an ancient and respected homage to all that is revered in the musical universe.

If you are offended by harsh language DO NOT listen to this program. We do not Condone, Suggest, or Recommend anyone listen to this show. Ever.

For your listening pleasure: 70MB MP3(This file is passworded and can be opened with WinRAR or 7-Zip)

Your hosts Samson & The Giraffe battle track for track in the following categories:

1. Fighter entrance music.
   1. Rage Against the Machine - Bulls on Parade
   2. Atreyu - Becoming the Bull
2. Bad song, Great remix.
   1. La Roux - In For The Kill (Skream Remix)
   2. Linkin Park Feat. Jay Z - Numb (Encore)
3. Song You discovered while watching a movie.
   1. Jamiroquai - Deeper Underground (Godzilla)
   2. Halcyon + On + On (Hackers)
4. Cover that is superior to the original.
   1. Adele - Make You Feel My Love (Billy Joel)
   2. Jimi Hendrix - All Along the Watchtower (Bob Dylan)
5. Song secretly about Jesus.
   1. Florence And The Machine & Dizzee Rascal - You Got The Dirty Love
   2. P.O.D. - Alive
6. Terrible song that you genuinely enjoy.
   1. N*SYNC - Its Gonna Be Me
   2. Blood Brothers - My First Kiss At The Public Execution

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